Hating Idiots Since c1983

After a couple of below-par efforts at making bread I thought I’d try the pizza making thing. Deliah is to thank for this recipe as it made the most sense when Googling.

Ingredients (for 2 10″ pizzas)

Ok first thing (and I reckon pretty good thing) is weigh out the flour into a pyrex/metal bowl and put it in the oven at 60 degrees c for 10 mins.

Now, turn the oven off, we’ll be a while. Add the yeast, salt, sugar. Make a well and add the olive oil followed by the hot water.

If you’re Kenwood’d then dough hook, min speed for a minute, speed 1 for 5 mins. Remove and knead by hand for another 5 mins. You shouldn’t need to flour the work surface.

If you’re a peasant then mix it together with a spoon for a while, kneading for 10 mins or so when combined. No flouring of work surface required.

Leave in a clean bowl with oiled cling film over it for about an hour, or until It’s doubled in size.

Now empty it on to a floured surface, knock out the air and knead into a ball. Split into two. Roll out to 10″ with rolling pin. Use your hands then to finish and leave it with a slightly thicker edge, thin rest of it.

Make pizza! I used passata base, grated cheese, chorizo and jalapenos.
220 degrees c for 10 mins.

This is most straightforward and has received only positive comments.

Ingredients

The whole process is a lot easier if you have a Kenwood mixer, otherwise a spoon and dedication. Either way it doesn’t take long as: Fan oven 160 degrees, 7-8″ tin greased, preferably one with a lose bottom.

Add the flour, sugar and cinnamon to a bowl and mix – break up the muscovado sugar as much as possible. Add the butter and mix together. If you’ve got a Kenwood then gradually turn it up to max speed and hold that lid down. Otherwise keep mixing until you have a find crumb consistency.

Pour into the tin and press down firmly to get a solid mass. Sprinkle some caster sugar on top for presentation purposes. Put this in the oven for 30 fun packed minutes. After you remove it leave it in the tin and cut with a knife into whatever portion sizes. Leave to cool and carefully remove.

This was inspired by Kat. Who is a person. It’s my shortest recipe yet because:

Ingredients

Make the potato soup then add par-boiled broccoli florets and blitz it. Then add about 300g of blue cheese. Continue to simmer until the cheese is melted. Finished. Maybe serve it with some home-made bread.

I bought a 0.5L Berghaus Food Flask thing in order to have soup at work or when walking.

The first soup I made since acquiring the flask was potato soup. It’s pretty simple and contains potato.

Ingredients

What Do
Melt the butter in a pan that you have a lid for. Once melted throw in (violence) the potato and onion. Toss. Seal the lid by laying a piece of grease-proof over the top of the pan first and then leave to simmer for 10 minutes. Now add the stock, cover (without grease-proof) and simmer for another 10 minutes. Using a handheld electric blender turn the lumpy soup into non-lumpy soup.

Finally add the milk, salt and pepper to taste and then the tabasco – a few drops. Stir this and let it come back to the boil for another minutes or so.

Serve with good bread and a smile on your horrifically disfigured face.

You need a liquidizer for this, such as with that splending Kenwood KM010 thing.

Ingredients

Add the oil, peppers, onion and garlic to a pan and fry for about 5-10 minutes until soft. Let cool and then add to the liquidizer with about 1/3rd of the tomatoes. Turn it on for about 30 seconds then add the rest of the tomatoes and repeat until smooth. Add this to a pot and add the cayenne pepper. Bring slowly to the boil and let simmer for 10 minutes. Serve with bread/glass.

Ingredients:

In a large saucepan add the sugar, golden syrup, treacle, 1tbspn water, spices and bicarb. Bring to the boil whilst stirring. Take off the heat and stir in the butter. Gradually add the flour until we have a smooth dough.

Cover (to prevent it drying out) and leave for 30 minutes. On a floured surface roll it out to the desired thickness and cut with whatever cutters you have available. These should then go in the oven for about 15 minutes at 180C (fan).